BBZ and the Baby Sister

Announcement: There are no announcements contained in this blog post. Resume regular breathing pattern now.

October 15: BBZ was born. October 16: people started asking when we’ll have the next one. Friends warn and tease about it, family members try to disguise eagerness as nonchalant-ness and even strangers have opinions. Of course, anyone who knows us well realizes that Daddy Zog was preparing to return to school before BBZ was born, took the GRE the month prior to his birth, interviewed with grad schools five months later and started a PhD program before BBZ celebrated his first birthday. Anyone who knows us well knows the next addition to our family will be a PhD we proudly hang on the wall. Anyone who knows us well knows there is no way we can feed, clothe and daycare another baby right now unless BBZ goes out and finds himself a j-o-b. And yet, the suggestions and comments persist from those who are afraid for BBZ to be alone or possibly just don’t think it’s fair that we only have one kid to chase through the Whole Foods parking lot.

What I never expected was for BBZ himself to have an opinion on his only-child status. It started about a month ago. “Paloma has a baby sister,” he said. “Dexter has a baby sister, William has a baby sister, Ryan has a sister,” he’d list. “Mommy, you have a sister! Daddy has a sister too! But not me…I don’t have a sister…” (Insert super long, sad face on my adorable boy here.) Then some serious family role playing started. “Big Bird is the Mommy. Grover is the Daddy. Elmo is the baby sister.” All of a sudden toys were not just toys – they were families and they all had baby sisters. Then about a week ago, his baby sister appeared. Her name is Rainnen. (I think he named her the day it was rainin’ outside last week. But who knows?) It seems she is very cute and super sweet (you know, just how an actual newborn would be.) She doesn’t steal his toys or encroach on his time with Mommy. She is, by all accounts, perfect.

But apparently, she was not enough. Our friends Bridget and Doug babysat for us on Friday night and of course, BBZ marched right over to Miss Bridget and said, “Do you have a sister?” I froze. I knew what the answer would be. Darn Catholic family. “I have FOUR sisters and ONE brother,” Miss Bridget said to BBZ as his eyes doubled in size while he comprehended the possibilities. And so, I now have a whole gaggle of imaginary children living in my house. BBZ’s sister Rainnen, and his two brothers Unzel and Dunzel. I’m not certain if they are twins; I don’t think BBZ knows about twins. Fortunately, none of them are demanding food, clothes or a place to sleep just yet. If they do, let's hope they all have minuscule appetites like BBZ does.

And so I find myself with a new feeling. I’ve never really cared what anyone else thought because they aren’t a part of our little family and really, what do they know about our life? But my son IS a part of this family and so his feelings count – at least more than the mom of the kid at daycare whose name I don’t know who insists as she’s lugging a screaming infant into school to pick up her kid whose been in time-out all day that we should have another one. If it’s in God’s plan for us, we’d like to have another baby someday. I know that. But I’ve never thought about BBZ’s opinions or feelings about the matter. I never thought to ask him. It seems the older he gets the more he works his little way into every breath I take and every thought I have. For now, his requests present a great teaching moment where we discuss how we can’t always get what we want. Knowing how these things hash out in the end, I’m sure by the time we have little Rainnen, Unzel or Dunzel he’ll have moved on to just wanting a puppy. But for now, I just try to remember he’s three and doesn’t really understand how much this event would change his life - a dog or a sibling, that is.

Oh, and for anyone wondering, we are not the kind of people who find this story cute enough to actually name any real future children these names. Again, resume regular breathing pattern now.