Summer

Building a pillow fort on Mommy and Daddy's bed. July 2012

It’s summer. Son, your fifth one; Baby Girl, only your first. And like a pure scoop of Mint Chocolate Chip, the days are melting away. This week August will be here, bringing with it a new baby cousin for you, a visit from Grandma, a weekend getaway for me and Daddy, the start of a new school year and many unexpected joys and distractions. For me, summer is always the end of the year. Perhaps as the daughter of two academics and now the wife of one as well, I will always think in terms of school years.  August is when, as one year winds down, the New Year commences. The date is not firm, but eventually the New Year will begin for me. I can feel that date approaching because I’ve been entertaining an increasing number of thoughts about the year past. Summer is a good time for thinking. Too hot to do anything else, right?

The closing bookend of summer is how I keep track of the years. Summer of 1996 I was at home with Grandma and Grandpa and I remember the international crowds in downtown Atlanta, so that means I must have just ended my first year of college and the Olympics were in town. Summer of 2005 is when I let the secret slide to my best friend that Daddy and I were moving to D.C. That conversation took place in Beaver Creek, CO, so I’ll always remember the year my friend said “I do” on top of a rain-soaked mountain.  See how it works?

Summer is when I learned to ride a bike, attempted to water ski and realized I could swim a long way under water. Summer is when I traveled to places like Mackinaw Island, Saint Simon's Island and France. Summer is when I worked at video stores, restaurants and two weeks at a department store. Summer is when I married your Daddy. It is also when I realized it hurt me to be away from him for long periods of time.  Summer is when I thought my baby boy’s birth would never get here and when I found out he was going to be a big brother. Summer is when I moved to new apartments, houses, sorority house suites and states. Summer is also when I’ve gone to work for a new company three times.

And this is one of the summers where I’ve started a new job. Here’s a snapshot of right now: It’s 98 degrees outside. Daddy is in his office at the law school, probably editing a draft of something important he’ll soon have published. The two of you are playing and learning at a fabulous school that seems to fit our family like a custom tailored suit and although it is 15 minutes away in the opposite direction from work, we are thrilled to have found it. We would drive twice that far. And me? I’m perched at my new desk in my new office. Really, it’s new. Until they hired me, it was only a conference room.  

As far as marking the past year, this summer concludes my year attempting to be a stay-at-home mom.  Okay, to be fair to myself, I should say it’s the end of the year I accomplished being a stay-at-home mom.  Son, you might have fleeting memories of the year. Baby Girl, perhaps your dear love of your brother’s voice can be attributed to the long afternoons you spent during that year incubating in my belly while listening to him entertain me. For me it was a year that followed one of the most marked summers ever. In that one summer, we made a baby, finished a PhD, accepted a job, packed up a house, taught step-aerobics classes, hired expensive movers, battled morning sickness, and said goodbye to friends and a beloved town.  We signed a lease, unpacked boxes, treated ourselves to a new rug, memorized a new address, battled the heat, became a professor, said hello to a new preschool, started looking for new friends, and found a new hair salon, grocery store  and OBGYN. By the time all of that was done, I was exhausted. Oh, and quite visibly pregnant. So, I decided to focus my energy at home and not work for someone else.

The story of the year that followed – the year that is now ending – is another story. It’s important for me to document that year and the thoughts and actions contained within it. It was unlike any other year, but review again the summer that preceded it! How could the year have escaped unscathed? I’ll share that story with you, but not today. This is the story of summer. And the summer of 2012 will be the summer Mommy went to work in her new office.  

I am thrilled with my new job. The environment, the work and the people are ideal. I think we’ve successfully morphed into a dual-income family once again. We’ve settled into a routine that ensures we are out the door on time each morning with lunchboxes and diaper bags and prepares us for teeth brushing and bedtime stories around the same time nightly.  In our free time, we’ve been to the pool, the park, the children’s museum and the beach. Daddy and I just returned from the first of two mini vacations planned before autumn. (Our love for each other never seems stronger than when we travel together. We’re eager to show the world to you two also. )

Personally, I’ve reached a pivotal point where I feel like myself again. Having a baby is a transforming experience. Baby Girl, I hope you’ll know for yourself someday. I suppose that is yet another story to write.  Anyway, I’m shedding the baby-weight and finding my confidence. I’m sleeping deeply and have discovered a love of indoor cycling classes. I meditate on my lovely, lovely life and focus on joy and gratitude. I’m finding fulfillment in my work which spills over into appreciation for my time at home playing super heroes and singing made-up songs to you.  I’m taking calculated steps toward long-lasting health and daily happiness. And I’m realizing these steps are not selfish for me as I once thought, but when stripped down to their bare bones, these things are selfish for us– our family– and that is just fine. Also, I’m finally old enough to do what is good and honest and not worry about the judgment of anyone who doesn’t share a last name with me. Oh, how I wish I could gift you that freedom!

But I can thank you, my son and baby girl, because you are the impetus for this summer. You are the both the goal and the reward. When actions taken stem from what interests you best, it becomes evident what is right. I am continuing to learn and decipher. I do it while peering through the lens of being your mom. It works! I’m awe-struck.  So, thank you sweet babies for pushing me along and practicing patience with me. Thank you for summer when things come together and mark both the end and the beginning.  Thank you for this summer when my boy is learning to swim and eat turkey and count without skipping 15 and my baby girl is learning to grab a toy and sit unassisted and sing along with her daddy. This is the summer when Mommy went to work in her new office because everything else was just right.

Coming Soon...

Check back soon for changes to the format of this blog. We've decided this will be the home for letters to our children. Thoughts we want to share with them, things we want them to know or stories we ourselves want to remember. The tumblr blog we maintain is proving to be a very effective way to capture our daily lives and we think this blog can serve to record deeper thoughts and reactions to our every day lives.

The posts to this blog will be less frequent than the tumblr blog, certainly, but also longer and more thought provoking.

Stay tuned.

Two Months Old!

So remember last month when I wrote about our healthy, average sized baby?!? Well, that is a thing of the past. BGZ had her two month check up today and we now have a healthy, HUGE baby.

Last month = 50% in height and weight

This month = 75% in height and 95% in weight.

Yes, you read that correctly. She's gained almost three pounds in the last month and now weighs 12 lbs, 11 oz and is in the 95th percentile. What a jump!

She is doing great and the doctor says she is perfect. We tend to agree. Enjoy the above photo of our little chunker waiting to see the doctor today.

March Madness in Zogland

Oh how we love this time of year in Zogland! March Madness has taken over our household (as we joyfully embrace any excuse to stay inside and away from the yellow dust that coats our bodies the minute we step outdoors.) This is our first March Madness away from Chapel Hill. Away from the state where Basketball is beloved, enjoyed, and discussed with genuine enthusiasm 12 months of the year, and worshiped in the holy month of March. It's a little strange to be in a foreign land during March Madness. I went out to lunch today and overheard NOT ONE conversation about the tournament. What's wrong with these people?!?! Must make mental note to find more basketball loving, most-likely-transplanted-from-the-East-Coast friends in the next 11 months.

Anyway, in our house, it's GAME TIME. Brackets are filled out, all blue clothing is ready for extended wear and not-so-great-sportsmanship chants are being recited to the children. Now that we have two children I've noticed that March Madness is marked by some pretty obvious changed to the household dynamic:

• Bedtime? What's that? Kids go to bed during halftime or when the game is over. Nuff said.
• Baths? Unless they stink from several feet away, there just isn't time.
• Dinner? Usually enjoyed by the entire family simultaneously while sitting around a table. Soft music plays in the background as we discuss our day and things we are grateful for. This month? Four-year-old gets fed when he starts to complain about hunger pains. Dinner consists of whatever Daddy can put on the plate during a commercial break and is enjoyed while said four-year-old sits at his coloring table in the living room. Mom and dad inhale food when they can find the time, sitting on the sofa, yelling at the t.v. Really, the whole scene is barbaric.

But really, the biggest indicator that March Madness has settled into Zogland is the change in conversation and the way judgement calls are made. For example, I fell down a hill while out for a walk with the baby this morning and banged up my knee pretty good. (Don't worry, the baby was unaffected by my act of gracefulness.) About an hour later I remarked that my knee still hurt pretty badly. To which my inquiring husband replied: "How bad is it? I mean, are you John Henson hurt or Kendall Marshall hurt?" (Do a Google search for injured Tar Heel players if you need further explanation here.)

Happy Basketball Everyone!

Baby Girl Zog

Baby Girl Zog had her first check up on Friday. Our first month with her was so much more relaxed and enjoyable than our first month with Big Boy Zog. More on this later when I have time to properly share my thoughts, but one thing is certain...I would never wish first time parenthood on anyone and yet, it makes us stronger somehow I think.

Anyway, BGZ's one month check up went well. She is up to 9 lbs, 12 oz (up from 7 lbs, 15 oz at birth and a lowest weight of 7 lbs, 1 oz). I forget her exact length and head circumference (ha! can you tell she's the second kid?) but I know that since the day she was born all of her sizes are exactly average. She's a 50th percentile baby. We enjoy her chubby cheeks and legs, but she's certainly not the hefty baby her 95th percentile brother was. I'm sure this has something to do with the fact that she was born 16 days earlier than he was. He had longer to "cook" as they say and he just grew and grew. She came eight days early and started on Mommy's good side, so I say. Anyway, to me, she is just right. She eats a LOT and the doctor says she looks great and we're doing everything just right. Hmm..I think I like this doctor.

BGZ is a very sweet baby. I'm sure our relaxed state has something to do with our perception of her, but she honestly seems to be pretty easy going. As long as her needs are met, she's content. She has a bit of a fussy time in the evening, but even then, it's just not that bad. I mean, you know a baby is calm and enjoyable when you hear her daddy cooing at her at 2 a.m. and saying to her - even though she just woke him up in the middle of the night - "you're such a good baby.Yes, you are. A good baby."

Being a family of four fits us. It just seems like we were meant to be this way. She fit right in and we loved her immediately. BBZ treats her like she was born to be his best friend. I hope and pray that she always will be. The other day, she was crying in the car and I heard him say to her, "Don't cry baby sister. I'm here with you. Don't cry. I'll always be here with you." Doesn't get much better than that.

All is well in Zogland. The photo album called January - April 2012 has been updated. Enjoy!

Christmas Quips

Once again it's January and once again I haven't written about our Christmas on the blog. Yes, of course, we celebrated Christmas this year. Even though he's four years old, this was technically BBZ's fifth Christmas. It was certainly the first one where I think he really got it.  He understood that Christmas is when Baby Jesus was born and the basics of what that means to our family. He understood who Santa is and the purpose he serves. He understood buying gifts for people he loves - though he didn't seem to understand the whole "keep it a secret until they unwrap the gift" part. The music that we only hear at Christmas, dropping gifts in the Toys For Tots box, decorations all over our house and our town, even baking cookies and candy - he seemed to grasp it all. My hope had been that this would be the year, and I was elated to see him enjoy all that Christmas offers to Children. What I didn't expect is how magical Christmas would seem to me again because of my son. To be able to share the wonder and excitement with him was really touching for me. I'll be honest, getting to play Santa is so awesome. I think our excitement level may have surpassed his...especially on Christmas morning where the child slept until after 9 a.m. while we anxiously waited around for him to wake up. 


And now, he's a true lover of all things Christmas. Here we are on January 10th, and he's still bringing toys into the living room to "decorate" for Christmas. I think he's finally accepted that our tree is gone for the next 11 months, but he's not happy about it. We're working on the foreign idea that there will be no more gifts for awhile. Oh, and he's finally stopped asking to hear Jingle Bells. Thankfully.


Perhaps the best part his understanding this year came in the form of some things he said that warmed my heart and made me laugh:


Upon visiting Santa for the first time: "I asked Santa for Thor's Hammer and a Batmobile, but he didn't have any of that stuff so he gave me a Candy Cane instead."

Literal translation: "Mommy, we both have babies! You have a baby in your tummy and I have Baby Jesus in my heart...and in my tummy!"

Backseat Disc Jockey: "I want to hear the songs about Baby Jesus, not the songs about other Christmas."

Mr. Know-it-all: "Hey, you said this song wasn't about Baby Jesus, but I just heard them say Merry Christmas. Merry is Baby Jesus's mommy, so this song is TOO about Baby Jesus!"


Big heart, sweet boy. While watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: "We should take Rudolph to our house. We would love him and never try to hide his nose."

More candy for him: "Me and Mommy like peppermint. Daddy doesn't. Daddy is CRAZY!"

Unprompted Sibling Love: "I asked Santa to bring Baby Sister a flower for Christmas. She'll like that."

Tar Heel Band

Just found this video from back in September. Made me smile big time.

Video: Tar Heel Band.AVI

Fourth Birthday P.S.

Kids are so funny. After the dozens of gifts BBZ received for his birthday last week, I would have never guessed that his singing Hallmark card would remain as one of his favorites more than a week later. Watch the video below for the "show." I love how all of his "friends" have to be arranged before the show can begin.

Fourth Birthday

Big Boy Zog is officially even bigger. We celebrated his fourth birthday this past weekend. I decided to throw all my mommy-power behind the party and make it a grand event. Couple my efforts with a granted request for perfect weather and we had a recipe for a great time. BBZ had decided two months in advance that he wanted a Cowboy Birthday Party. Of course he decided two hours before the party started that he was done being a cowboy, but he came back around to my way of thinking (encouraged strongly by the new Horse Tire Swing in the backyard and some cake!) Click the photo above or the link to the right to see pics from his party.

Four certainly seems to be the birthday with the greatest significance so far in terms of his growing-up-too-fastness. After his party, I quite literally put away the Fisher Price Little People and Elmo Slippers and replaced them with newly acquired Super Hero toys and complicated games and gadgets that he understands how to operate, even if I don't. He is most certainly a kid now. I mean, from a certain angle in just the right light, his hands still look like toddler's hands, but other than that....no luck. I am so torn between sadness over losing my baby and great excitement about the wonderful human being he's turning out to be. I love that my big boy understood that it was his birthday and knew what it meant, but it also stung just a little.

But I do what all mothers do. Get over it, give hugs while I still can and live in the moment. Right now, that "moment" is my son - a.k.a. Batman - calling for help because he's stuck in a box - a.k.a. the Batmobile, so this post is coming to an end while I go help the caped crusader. I will mention that when he calls for me he still says, "Mommy!" Hmm..I wonder how long I can keep him from finding out that I'll also answer to the more grown-up "mom." I hope it's a very, very long time.

Best Buddy

A good friend of mine has a newborn. He'll be one month old this week. During my visits with them I play with the baby's feet, bounce him over my arm, sway him from side to side and try as best I can to answer his mom's stream of questions about what on earth she should do for him/with him/to him/about him. I offer an occasional, "yeah, BBZ did that too when he was a newborn," or the oh-so-unhelpful, "maybe you should write that down and ask the pediatrician next time you see her." I tell a story about my experience that makes her understand she's not alone in her experience. But I realize perhaps the best help I can give is to make conversation and keep her company. To help break up the hours that roll into days with stories of the "outside world," to try and remind her that it won't be like this forever. I'm helping her; at least I think I am.

But for me, the unexpected discovery is how much these visits have helped me. They've helped me realize that those awful first months (and let's be honest, they were pretty horrible) were a small price to pay for what I have now. Because, the truth is this: my three-year-old is one of the greatest human beings I know and there are few people I would rather spend time with than him. Of course I love him fiercely and I am so proud of him that I have to remind myself that strangers don't always need to hear about the magnitude of his greatness. But I think the unexpected thing about being BBZ's mom is how much I enjoy his company. The loneliness of having a helpless newborn has been replaced with the joy of having a best buddy. We spend a lot of time together these days and lately I've been trying to recognize why he's so awesome to hang out with. He loves it when I tell him stories about when he was a baby. He likes to perform - a lot. He makes up words and commits them to memory (my favorite is "lasterday" which is a combination of last week and yesterday.) He's curious and friendly to everyone. But mainly, I've decided that a lot of his charm has to do with his unique, intelligent, and funny observations on life. Everything is a little better and far more simple when I hear it from him:

Upon seeing me enter his daycare classroom at the end of the day:
"Oh, Mommy! You came back! First, you left me. That made me sad. But now you are here. That makes me happy." (that about sums up my feelings too, son)

Upon seeing a car turn right at a red light:
"Mommy. That car did NOT stop. Red means stop. Green means go. That car is not listening. It needs to go in timeout." (this is less charming when I'm the driver he's reprimanding)

Upon hearing James Taylor sing "Carolina in my Mind:"
"He said MINE! We don't say mine. We only say share." (this was followed by a challenging conversation where I tried to explain what a mind is)

Upon climbing into his chair for dinner:
"Daddy, let's talk. Let's talk about how I love the Tar Heels." (obviously we are raising him right)

Upon seeing a newborn baby boy:
"I like her. She's cute. All babies are girls because big boys are the boys." (luckily the 3-week-old wasn't offended)

Upon reading an EXIT sign on the interstate:
"Hey, E-X-I-T...just like over the door at the ice cream store!" (this confirmed my suspicions that my child actually is the smartest kid in the universe)

Upon hearing a 10 second blurb of the evening news:
"Hey, the man on the TV said Thursday! Thursday is before show-and-tell day." (in his perfect world, every day would be show-and-tell day)

Upon seeing his Daddy finishing off an ice cream bar after BBZ was supposed to be in bed:
"Do you and mommy always eat ice cream after I go to sleep?" (insert parent guilt here)

And, my personal favorite...
Upon seeing his Daddy check his email wearing only his boxer shorts:
"My Daddy was naked on the computer!" (unfortunately, this declaration was made to a room full of people)

Ah yes, the short stretches of sleep (we're talking 3 hours was a marathon for him as a newborn), the endless diaper changes, and not being able to decipher his cries have been replaced with plenty of rest, potty training mastery, and joyous understanding of every word he utters. Check back with me when he's a moody teenager, but for now, I think I got one heck of a deal.

Easter 2011

Please excuse my rather lengthy absence from this blog. I'll get back on the wagon soon, I promise. In the meantime, please enjoy some photos from our lovely Easter celebration. A small visit from the Easter Bunny followed by church and then an egg hunt with family and friends. Grover forgot his Easter bonnet, but we had a great day!

Oh Yeah, Christmas...

So, it's January 11 and I realized I haven't posted photos or stories from our Christmas. It was a very busy month where we enjoyed an extended visit from Grandma, a shorter visit from Suzyn and Ross and a post-Christmas trip to see our Mississippi family. Throw in some holiday parties, lots of baking, Disney on Ice, a snow storm and New Years' Eve and...whew!

The snow got in our way a little, delaying our air travel by one day, but Delta was kind enough (yes, can you believe it?!)to push our return flights back by a day also, so we still enjoyed a nice visit in MS, including a super fun trip to the zoo.

BBZ definitely understood Christmas this year. Everything from Baby Jesus to Santa to singing in church to baking cookies seemed to click for him. (Of course, now he keeps asking when Santa is coming and insists on inserting Mary and Joseph into every Bible Story I tell him, but hey, he's learning.) Anyway, Christmas felt magical to me for the first time since I was a kid. I loved it! We had very few gifts, but that didn't seem to matter to anyone. I hope we keep that in mind as the years go by.

I routinely forgot to get out the camera this holiday season, but click the photo below to see some pics I did manage to take.

Christmas 2010

Disney on Ice: Toy Story 3

We enjoyed an early Christmas gift from Grandma yesterday and all got to see Disney on Ice. BBZ sat up straight in his seat and took in every second of the show. He has such studious intensity. He did clap his hands and wiggle his feet to the music. We know he enjoyed it becuase this morning he woke up and said, "Grandma, are you going to take us to Woody Buzz again?" Oh, and he keeps showing us his "ice skating" at home. Very amuzing!

Enjoy some pics, including one of "Sherrif Woody" in his pj's before we left that morning. Don't worry, the photo that looks like BBZ is scowling is actually a photo of his "intense enjoyment" ...I promise! And the look on his face in the photo with me is great because it was taken during intermission and he was very concerned that the show wasn't coming back and didn't really believe me when I said it was! It's really fun to ovserve him at shows like this:

BBZ and the Baby Sister

Announcement: There are no announcements contained in this blog post. Resume regular breathing pattern now.

October 15: BBZ was born. October 16: people started asking when we’ll have the next one. Friends warn and tease about it, family members try to disguise eagerness as nonchalant-ness and even strangers have opinions. Of course, anyone who knows us well realizes that Daddy Zog was preparing to return to school before BBZ was born, took the GRE the month prior to his birth, interviewed with grad schools five months later and started a PhD program before BBZ celebrated his first birthday. Anyone who knows us well knows the next addition to our family will be a PhD we proudly hang on the wall. Anyone who knows us well knows there is no way we can feed, clothe and daycare another baby right now unless BBZ goes out and finds himself a j-o-b. And yet, the suggestions and comments persist from those who are afraid for BBZ to be alone or possibly just don’t think it’s fair that we only have one kid to chase through the Whole Foods parking lot.

What I never expected was for BBZ himself to have an opinion on his only-child status. It started about a month ago. “Paloma has a baby sister,” he said. “Dexter has a baby sister, William has a baby sister, Ryan has a sister,” he’d list. “Mommy, you have a sister! Daddy has a sister too! But not me…I don’t have a sister…” (Insert super long, sad face on my adorable boy here.) Then some serious family role playing started. “Big Bird is the Mommy. Grover is the Daddy. Elmo is the baby sister.” All of a sudden toys were not just toys – they were families and they all had baby sisters. Then about a week ago, his baby sister appeared. Her name is Rainnen. (I think he named her the day it was rainin’ outside last week. But who knows?) It seems she is very cute and super sweet (you know, just how an actual newborn would be.) She doesn’t steal his toys or encroach on his time with Mommy. She is, by all accounts, perfect.

But apparently, she was not enough. Our friends Bridget and Doug babysat for us on Friday night and of course, BBZ marched right over to Miss Bridget and said, “Do you have a sister?” I froze. I knew what the answer would be. Darn Catholic family. “I have FOUR sisters and ONE brother,” Miss Bridget said to BBZ as his eyes doubled in size while he comprehended the possibilities. And so, I now have a whole gaggle of imaginary children living in my house. BBZ’s sister Rainnen, and his two brothers Unzel and Dunzel. I’m not certain if they are twins; I don’t think BBZ knows about twins. Fortunately, none of them are demanding food, clothes or a place to sleep just yet. If they do, let's hope they all have minuscule appetites like BBZ does.

And so I find myself with a new feeling. I’ve never really cared what anyone else thought because they aren’t a part of our little family and really, what do they know about our life? But my son IS a part of this family and so his feelings count – at least more than the mom of the kid at daycare whose name I don’t know who insists as she’s lugging a screaming infant into school to pick up her kid whose been in time-out all day that we should have another one. If it’s in God’s plan for us, we’d like to have another baby someday. I know that. But I’ve never thought about BBZ’s opinions or feelings about the matter. I never thought to ask him. It seems the older he gets the more he works his little way into every breath I take and every thought I have. For now, his requests present a great teaching moment where we discuss how we can’t always get what we want. Knowing how these things hash out in the end, I’m sure by the time we have little Rainnen, Unzel or Dunzel he’ll have moved on to just wanting a puppy. But for now, I just try to remember he’s three and doesn’t really understand how much this event would change his life - a dog or a sibling, that is.

Oh, and for anyone wondering, we are not the kind of people who find this story cute enough to actually name any real future children these names. Again, resume regular breathing pattern now.

New Smile

Usually, I do not avoid things. I like to deal with them head on, rather quickly. Get it out there. Over. Done. Move on. I don't have time for the drama. Rip the band-aid off as they say. I like to consider myself proactive. In fact, as I age, I've had to teach myself not to always act so quickly. My sense of urgency is one of my biggest character flaws.

So, the fact that I have not blogged about BBZ's accident is interesting to me. Maybe I think if I don't blog about it, it didn't happen. But yesterday, I realized that it really is not that big of a deal and best of all, it's over. I want this blog to be an honest and accurate journal that will tell BBZ about his life.

Of course, I'm also a full-time working mom, so I'm going to cheat a little...er, a lot. This entire entry will be directly copied from emails sent to family. In fact, I don't think this story will be news to any readers of this blog. There is no new info here. I just wanted the whole story in one place.

Sunday, October 3, 2010: I wanted to let you know that BBZ had a bit of an accident Saturday morning. He fell while playing on Campus. He wasn't running too fast or doing anything dangerous, he simply tripped - as all preschoolers do - and fell. Unfortunately he landed on his mouth and it was a brick step that caught his fall. He chipped his two front teeth and displaced the upper right incisor significantly. In other words, his front teeth are broken and the right front tooth is now shoved up into his gums. That displaced tooth was also rotated pretty badly, but the dentist turned it and it actually looks much better than it did. He also cut the inside of his upper lip quite badly when he fell. We don't know if it was the bricks or his teeth that made that cut. I'm going to find out today if that cut needs stitches. He bled a lot yesterday, but it has nearly stopped now. He is pretty swollen - more today than yesterday actually, but that should go away. We are waiting for the swelling to go down and then will be able to see if there is any nerve damage that will adversely affect his baby teeth or his future adult teeth. He can't have any crunchy food or bite into any foods for at least two weeks. This is because it could hurt him, but also because the biting action could increase the possibility of nerve damage. We will watch for certain things that could develop and try to make sure he doesn't fall again so the teeth have time to heal. His teeth could turn grey for awhile. Motrin is helping with the pain and should also help with the swelling. BBZ isn't really keen on ice packs, so we'll just have to wait for the swelling to go down on its own. As for his teeth, we are hopeful that the displaced tooth will come down a little on its own over time. But there is no way to "fix" his teeth. They will be broken until they fall out in a few years. We hope his adult teeth will be unharmed.

The "no crunchy food" rule is a hard one. It's especially difficult for us because he had just started eating really well in recent weeks. For the last year, we've been trying to get him to eat. He finally started and now we have to tell him he can't have his favorite foods (anything crunchy, especially raw veggies). Yesterday he was crying for a carrot; that was hard for us. He can have things like fruit, bread, and cheese as long as its served to him in bite size pieces. He can't bite INTO anything. We are hoping to use this time to teach him to like soft things like yogurt, applesauce, grits, pasta and cooked veggies. But we aren't certain he'll eat them because usually he won't. In the meantime, I am taking out stock in Kroger-brand Pediasure and in the very least, he'll drink 3 or 4 of those each day. We will talk to his daycare director and teachers tomorrow morning because they need to know how to feed him. I'll be supplying his food for school (which typically they do not allow.) The good news is that he can defiantly have cake on his birthday in two weeks!

I am so proud of what a strong, brave boy he is. This child doesn't complain! He was starting to perk up about 90 minutes after the accident and was really back to acting like his usual self by lunchtime yesterday. He has always responded extremely well to ibuprofen and I am so thankful for that! As long as we stay ahead of the pain, he seems to be in great spirits. He slept great last night and is happy as can be watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse this morning.

I am also proud of my husband. He had the unfortunate experience of witnessing the accident. He acted calmly and swiftly and I totally believe his actions helped both BBZ's injury and spirit. I expected BBZ to be much more afraid than he was when I saw him. His daddy made everything better for him.

We KNOW that an injury to the mouth and teeth is by no means a tragedy. Worse things could have happened to him. Worse things happen to kids every day. We are beyond grateful that his injury is not worse. Having said that, this is still the worst thing that's ever happened to HIM, so we are a little shook up, sad, disappointed, worried, upset, regretful, fearful. Our son, of course, is just fine. And that brings me joy. Mommy and Daddy will catch up to his good mood. I know as the days go by we won't dwell on what happened and what's to come.

The biggest blessing is our friends the Hardins that God sent to us in a coffee house right here in Chapel Hill in 2008. Not only are they true and dear friends, they are dentists! And Annelise is our PEDIATRIC Dentist. Daddy Zog called them right away - of course they were at the coffee house - and they met him at their home. Over the next 3 hours they treated BBZ, took care of us, washed blood-stained clothes, fed us, picked me up from the gym, let me use their shower, gave us all clean clothes...the list goes on and on. Their son is our son's best friend, so to have him right by his side was special too. They will never know how grateful we are that we didn't spend the morning in an ER or cold dental office. To be in their house with their friendship (and Thomas the Train on their tv) surrounding us was crucial. I know it was hard for Annelise to see BBZ that way because he is not just another patient. I know it pained her beyond the reach of her professional responsibility to reach into his mouth and turn his crooked tooth, but I'm so glad she did. She is a great doctor. It helps us so much to know they will guide us through the healing process too. I don't even know how to explain how wonderful they are...

Like I said, I know it will get easier and in the long run, it's not a tragedy. Daddy Zog already calls BBZ our "little boxer." We could use some prayers. Mainly prayers for swift healing with no permanent damage, for BBZ to be open to trying new soft foods, for no more falls for awhile and for Mommy and Daddy to perk up and to stop worrying about the future.

I've attached a couple of photos. The one in the cowboy hat is from yesterday and the one on the sofa is from this morning - he's really swollen today. I actually think his mouth looks better in the photos than in real life. Most of the damage is in the inside of his mouth , up under his lip and up into his gums.

Monday, November, 1, 2010: Just a quick update on BBZ's teeth. We went to the dentist this morning for the x-rays and follow up visit. She wanted us to wait one month for all the swelling to go down. The good news is that is right front tooth (the one that was displaced and rotated in the accident) is healing well and has come back down a lot. So, really it's just a chipped tooth. The bad news is that the left front tooth (the one that we thought was just chipped) has turned grey and has nerve damage and infection. It's still causing him a lot of pain if he accidentally bites down with it. This morning we were told it has to be removed.

So, we are scheduled for an appointment to have that tooth pulled on the 11th. The dentist will use laughing gas and a topical numbing agent, but will not have to put him under for the procedure. There will not be a fake tooth or anything like that in place of the pulled tooth. He'll just have a hole there until his adult tooth comes in. We are glad to go ahead and do this because it will hopefully prevent the nerve damage from causing damage to his future adult teeth. It will also eliminate the pain he's been having. We hope it will also allow his diet to return to normal because the limitations on what he can eat has had a negative effect on his weight. He's lost over a pound in the last month. Really, we are also glad to go ahead and do this and move past the whole ordeal. Just thinking about what they have to do to him makes me sort of dizzy and nauseous. But we are thankful for his overall health and happiness.

I've attached a photo of him on Halloween; you can see the grey tooth that has to come out.

So, we have some more rough times ahead, but we'll be okay. BBZ is definitely aware of the trauma and has his own fears, but I hope that ending the physical pain will help with that.

Thursday, November 11, 2010: Well, we are minus a tooth!

Everything went well this morning - and fast too! Daddy Zog and I actually waited in the waiting room, which was probably best for everyone. The Dentist said when she saw the tooth she was so glad we went ahead and pulled it instead of waiting because it really needed to come out. Said we did the right thing at the right time. She also said the other tooth looks good and although there is a chance that it could have to come out, she is optimistic that won't.

He stopped bleeding very quickly and hasn't shown any signs of pain or discomfort at all since then. We are giving him Motrin and that seems to be working to keep any pain at bay. We came home and played and then watched Toy Story 3 (Thank you uncle E! He was VERY excited to see it!!) Then we had lunch and a nap - everything as usual around here. He should be able to eat with his other front tooth in a few days.

We decided not to do the "tooth fairy" thing this time around and we are very glad because his tooth is pretty disgusting to look at and I think it would scare him to have that thing under his pillow. We won't be showing it to him. We did give him a gift in the car on the way to the Dentist with another that he knew he got to open after we left. Both seemed to be big hits as both were Yo Gabba Gabba products! Now he's busy practicing how he'll ask Santa for things. So cute..

Above is a photo of his new smile. Pretty darn cute if I do say so myself (and I do!) A lot of times I think we won't even notice it's missing.

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. We are doing much better!

Halloween and October Pics

Whew! We had a fabulous Halloween weekend. Click on the photo below to see pics from Trunk or Treat at BBZ's School, my costume for work (Halloween is a BIG deal at work!), and our fun on Halloween Night in Aunt Katie and Uncle Jim's neighborhood. After expressing for weeks that he wanted to be a lion so he could go roar and after Sitti bought him a beautiful lion costume, BBZ decided the night before Trunk or Treat that he ab-so-lute-ly did NOT want to be a lion and in fact wanted to be a dinosaur. Duh, Mommy. So, what you see is the result of my late night trip to the craft store topped by an adorable hat he was given for his birthday. Not too shabby. Next year, I just might be forcing him to wear his lion costume.

Halloween 2010

And click on the photo below to see more pics from the month of October.

October 2010

Happy Third Birthday!

Well, it's a good thing I've started referring to him at BIG BOY Zog on this blog, because he is now officially three years old and certainly not a baby! We had a very full and wonderful birthday weekend last weekend. Dinners, brunches and breakfasts with family who'd come from near and far and one wonderful and crazy party at the Tumble Gym. What a great place for a party. You pay them, you bring the cake, the kids run around and have a blast, and then you go home. No mess to clean up! Click on the photo below to see pics from the party and some gift opening on Sunday morning. A special thanks to Sitti for the super cute "3" shirt and a special shout out to my very talented friend Dalis for the Cookie Monster, Elmo and Oscar the Grouch cupcakes. They were both adorable and yummy!

Happy Birthday, son. I love you more every second you are alive.

Third Birthday

September Photos

We had so much fun in September and then I totally forgot to post photos. What a great month! Click on the photo below to enjoy.

September 2010

Mommy, let's make a movie about me!

Family Photos

We spent yesterday morning with a wonderful local professional photographer. She took some amazing photos of our family. I can't believe BBZ is almost three years-old and we've never had a family portrait made. We were way over due. She shared some previews with us and they are posted here. The full set of proofs will be ready in two weeks. I'm so anxious to see the rest. Thank you Kimberlee Edwards!

Mommy Scare Me

So here's a little story. Daddy Zog and I attended a Murder Mystery Party last night that required us to dress like our assigned characters. This particular Murder Mystery was set in a trailer park, and so in keeping with the theme, I was supposed to be a sexy, scandalous tattoo artist and Daddy Zog was supposed to be a redneck, hippie, pot-smokin', musician just waiting for his big break.

We planned ahead and asked the babysitter to arrive a bit early so she could handle dinner for Big Boy Zog while we completed our transformations into Bonnie Sue Montana and Jamie Moon.

What we failed to plan for was BBZ's reaction to his parents in costume. "Daddy look silly. Mommy scare me," he said in awe. Daddy's wig was indeed silly and although you can't tell in this photo, Mommy DID apply three week's worth of makeup to accompany her big hair and black nail polish. Also not visible in this photo are the enormous tattoo on my back and the smaller ones on my legs. Basically he was a little freaked out, so after my three requests for a bye-bye hug were denied, I relented, telling him I'd see him in the morning when I was looking like Mommy again.

The conclusion to this story reminds me that my son is growing up before my eyes and that his mind and heart are growing just as fast as his hands and limbs. We returned home later that night (neither of us ended up being the murderer - whew!) expecting the usual report from the babysitter. "I almost sent you a text as you were leaving," she said. Assuming something traumatic had happened, I listened to her explain that my sweet boy apparently felt enormous guilt over not having hugged me goodbye. He was waiting for me to come back and finish the "game" and give him a hug. "I need to hug my Mommy," he said over and over to our wonderful sitter who ran to the garage to try and catch us only to see our taillights zooming away from the house. Then he progressed to, "I'm bad. Mommy no scare me. I need to hug my Mommy." Eventually, she felt confident she'd convinced him that he was not bad for being scared and that Mommy would give him a big hug first thing in the morning.

Yes, at this point, my heart was broken and I considered running up to his room and waking him with a super hug, but then I remembered that I was still dressed as Bonnie Sue and taking that action might just scar my little man for life.

This morning, I bolted to his room the second I heard him stir and was greeted with, "Oh hi Mommy. You came back! You no scare me" followed by the best hug I've ever had.

So, I learned a few things last night.

1) For this small boy, Daddy Zog and I represent his sense of "normal" and any deviation from this should probably be proceeded by some discussion and preparation. Oops.

2) He is old enough to feel guilt and shame, but not old enough to know when it's warranted. That makes me feel very aware and very determined to make sure we always talk about his feelings with him.

3) He has learned to judge people by the way they look. Hmmm.....this could be both good and not so good.

4) There is a lesson to be learned in nearly every situation. Last night's lesson: If you don't speak up, there may not always be another chance later. Even for a hug.

This morning, everything returned to normal. Lots of hugging, playing and laughing. And plenty of BBZ being opinionated and bossy, "Mommy, your fingers are black. I don't like it. I like pink. Take away the black." And so this morning's lesson was all about how fingernail polish remover works. Some lessons are easier learned than others, but all are important!

Denver

Being a PhD Student isn't exactly the best paying job on earth, but it is rewarding and offers some great perks like all-expenses-paid trips to cool cities for conferences. What's even better? When said conference is in a city where dear friends live. We recently enjoyed a trip to Denver - Daddy Zog for a nearly a week and me for a quick weekend. He enjoyed a conference and we both enjoyed a night out with his school colleagues and a weekend spent with my good friend Alison and her family.

Thank you to Sitti and Ainee for staying with Big Boy Zog for the weekend. We always enjoy a trip away and he always enjoys your undivided attention!

Pics here.

July Photos

Turns out we didn't do a very good job of taking photos in July, but we remember to snap a few during a friend's birthday party where BBZ enjoyed a bouncy house and birthday cake and during the VBS "show" during church where BBZ enjoyed refusing to sing with the other kids. (I have a video of this too but it's not worth sharing as it literally consists of 60 seconds of my son standing perfectly still whilst casting a disapproving look at the music director.) Anyway, click on the photo below to be directed to the album. Then you can view them as a slide show if you want to.

July 2010

Bye Bye Motionbox

Thanks to my great friend Jen who looks out for her fellow mommy-bloggers, I am aware that time is running out for my current favorite website for video sharing. The site I've used for nearly three years that allows me to easily upload, edit and share videos with you on this blog has apparently grown large enough to capture the attention of Hewlett Packard, and was bought by them. The downside? HP is shutting them down and offering no comparable substitute for the Motionbox users.

Mommy-bloggers unite! Thanks to Jen's endless research, we have found http://www.pixorial.com/ and -it's still early - but I think I might like their services and options better. There are certainly more steps involved between uploading raw video and sharing final product, but so far, so good.

Here is our test run. Let me know how it works for you, if you have problems watching it, etc. If the video keeps stopping, pause it for a few seconds to let the blue line run past the orange line.



And now to begin the task of pulling the last three years of our videos off Motionbox and uploading them to Pixorial...

Happy Birthday America

Independence Day Check List:

red, white and blue attire
coffee, lots of coffee
great parking
aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma
live bluegrass music
man on stilts
chicken in cage
$0.25 american flag made in china
walnut, pear, and gorgonzola salad
3 hour nap
aunt katie and uncle jim's new house
beyonce dance party
ice cold riesling & yeungling
split lip
blood stained shirt
wasp sting
grill that won't heat
cameras soaked by water
another split lip
yo gabba gabba
toddler picnic on living room floor
great burgers
homemade flag cake
more ice cold riesling & yeungling
fireworks in HD
Proud to be an American

June Photos

How adorable is my baby's most recent school pic? (Family members, your copy will be in the mail soon... I've gotta print them first.) On our camera, a visit from Sitti, fun in the pool, first trip to the movies, hangin' with the Cuz, and a visit from Uncle E highlighted BZZ's month. Photos here.

Big Boy Zog and the Weight Gain

This post is a sequel to Baby Zog and the Calories which I posted in January and can be read here.

For the last three weeks we have seen a wonderful positive change in BBZ's eating. He still gravitates toward crunchy/grainy snacks, fruit and dairy products. We still sneak high fat and high calories like cream cheese or yogurt smoothies into his daily diet. However, he has definitely expanded his "food portfolio" lately and seems more willing to try new things. For the most part he remains to be what I call a "food purist" - meaning that he'd rather eat foods in their pure form than foods that have been combined into a certain dish or meal. In other words, he's likely to eat a slice of bread, a slice of cheese and some turkey, but not if you put them together into a sandwich. In fact, at school he pulls the cheese off and eats it first; then he eats the bread. However, every now and then he'll surprise us in a major way. Last week he ate celery with pimento cheese and yesterday he ate an entire half of an egg salad sandwich. I about fell on the ground when his teacher told me that. Never underestimate the power of two-year-old peer pressure to make a kid eat!

The biggest change is that he consumes LARGER quantities of the foods he loves. We stopped counting his calories back in March because we found it to be very stressful and not all that helpful. We have a good idea of what he needs each day and lately he seems to be getting it! The anxiety is starting to wane and we are very encouraged. We can actually dine in a restaurant and just order off the kids' menu for him. It sounds simple, but that is such a great feeling.

Given this recent progress I was about as excited for his 30 month check up this week as I was for the sonogram I had at 19 weeks pregnant. We got checked in and Nurse Maria asked, "are there any issues you'd like to specifically address?" My reply was simple, "If that scale says at least 30 lbs, we have no issues because it means he's gaining weight again." Maria coaxed BBZ onto the scale and flashed me a grin that said we were in the clear. Here are the glorious stats:

Age: 2 years, 7 months
Weight: 30.86 lbs (60%)
Height: 37 inches (73%)
BMI: 15.85 (37%, healthy weight)

So basically, he's tall and skinny, but healthy and gaining weight again. We'll keep on keepin on...

I wouldn't do justice to my pride if I didn't also mention that after a robust five minute conversation with BBZ during which he told the doctor all about his friends at school and pointed out his colors, numbers, letters, animals and shapes - including his favorite, the octagon - our pediatrician looked at us and laughed and said, "you two are in trouble. This kid is smart." Apparently, he's even smart enough to know he needs to eat!

In The Trees

Being a one-car family (or in our case a one-old-paid-for-covered-in-cracker-crumbs-SUV family) actually has advantages that out-weigh the disadvantages. Saving money and a little piece of the planet is nice, but my favorite advantage is that we log some quality family time while making the rounds each day.

Daddy and Mommy go to work, and BBZ goes to daycare - or "school" as we prefer to call it. Since my job requires me to have a car during the day, I am the elected morning driver who safely delivers her men to their destinations. During our travels, we have discussions about everything we see, what we hear, and where we are going.

Every morning we drop Daddy Zog off on campus and about eight hours later we collect him again. The hours of his day are spent in an office, library, or classroom as he reads, writes or teaches. All pretty routine stuff for a PhD student.

However, a few months ago, as we were slowing down at our drop off spot - see photo above - BBZ shouted, "Daddy go to work in the trees!" Hmm. Okay. Sure Buddy, if you say so. But it wasn't a one time observation. Since then, it has become apparent that BBZ fully believes that his Daddy works "in the trees." If you ask him what his Daddy does, the reply will be, "My Daddy works in the trees. Yep, in the trees." It's hilarious! Yes, Daddy Zog's campus is covered in many large, beautiful trees; however, Daddy Zog has never climbed them, manicured them, or studied them. Moreover, BBZ has been to work with his daddy, played in his office and watched him work. And still, the "in the trees" theory persists.

But here is my favorite part: We fully embrace the theory. How precious to be a toddler and have all sorts of wonderful, creative and exciting ideas in your head! Who are we to take that away from him? At this stage, it's not important for him to know what Daddy really does. The daycare director knows where to really find us and that is all that matters. I wish I could climb into my small son's brain and attempt to follow the logic that led him to the conclusion that his Daddy works in the trees. Unfortunately, I'll never know how his little mind brought him to this, but I'm certainly not about to ruin the fun - his and ours - with the truth. Someday he'll know that his daddy is "a doctor, but not the kind who helps people." Someday we'll drive onto campus and his sweet observation won't occur. Someday he won't have any interest at all in where his Daddy works. But until that day, we'll let him enjoy thinking his Daddy is special enough to work in the trees.

Elmo's Green Thumb

BBZ enjoyed his first live performance show this morning with Sitti and Mommy. We took him to See Elmo's Green Thumb. Unfortunately, Daddy was on his way home from a conference and wasn't able to join us. My sweet baby was the perfect audience member, sitting in his seat like a good boy, clapping when they said "clap," waving when they said, "wave" and otherwise staring in a comotose state trying to take it all in. The photo above pretty much sums up the concentration he maintained through the enitre 90 minute show. He loved every second of it and spent the rest of the day asking, "where are my friends?" We just kept telling him they had to rest so they could do the show again for other little boys and girls.

Photos are here.

Photos of May

We had quite a busy month here in Zogland, and it was a month of many firsts for BBZ. First time holding a newborn baby, first time planting things in the earth, first time successfully posing for a photo for mommy, first time getting a boo boo that required a band-aid (a fate that, according to BBZ, also befell poor Grover later that day, thus requiring him to need a matching band-aid. See above photo.) All in all, a great month! Click here for photos.

School Boy

Thursday was Picture Day at BBZ's school. I don't know how the professional photos will turn out and if we'll choose package A or D, but I sure do love the ones I snapped before we piled into the car that morning. We even got a great shot of Mommy and her baby and Daddy with his little man. I couldn't pick just one to share, so enjoy an entire photo album here. I would share my heartfelt mommy comments about how grown up he looks with his shirt tucked in or how I'm wondering where my baby disappeared to, but I'm in the middle of what I've dubbed "The Most Productive Three Day Weekend Ever," and must be off to scratch more things off my task list!

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

When I was pregnant with Big Boy Zog I got loads of advice about how to handle pregnancy, child birth and parenting. But perhaps the best advice we received in those nine months was from people who had managed to get married, have children, stay married and above all...be happy. At its core, the message was, "Put your marriage first, above jobs, above circumstances, and yes, even above the children. If your marriage is solid, loving and on track everything else will fall into place."

My own observations on this topic could result in a second blog dedicated solely to the subject, but at the end of the day, I agree with this philosophy 100%. Of course as any parent knows, daily practice can be challenging. "Honey, I want to sit on the deck shile sipping wine and having an indepth conversation about our dreams and goals and the steps we'll take together to reach them, but right now this diaper really needs to be changed and there is spilled milk on the rug." So, we've learned to find small ways to stay on track.

One thing we are dedicated to is spending time together, away from BBZ. We were a couple for 11 years before he came onto the scene, so it's nice to reconnect and remember why we fell in love...long before he was the #1 joy in our lives. We grab dinner out on the town as often as we can, but we also like to get away for a few days from time to time. Since BBZ's birth 30 months ago, we have traveled alone to Philadelphia, PA; Boston, MA; Aurora, NY; Blowing Rock, NC; Biloxi, MS; Raleigh, NC (I know it's close by, but we were gone overnight so it totally counts!) and - this past weekend - New York, NY. Thanks to generous birthday gifts from my Mother-in-Law, we were able to travel up to visit Daddy Zog's sister, Deenie. We hung out, ate, laughed, went to the Met, rode the subway, and just generally had a great time. I kept telling Daddy Zog, "This is so fun...we don't have to worry about BBZ running out into the street, so instead you can hold MY hand!"

Of course, coming home on Mother's Day to our excited favorite person who tried to run up the down escalator at the airport when we saw us headed his way was just as wonderful as seeing Renoir at the MET or enjoying an apple martini while sitting rooftop amid the NYC skyline. It's not about one or the other, but a balance that makes me feel like a great mommy and a very happy wife. What else could I ask for on Mother's Day?

Click here for pics of our trip to NYC.